Control is an illusion. There is choice, there are decisions, and there is the experience of consequence, but there is no control.
The desire to control often rears its head when we are grappling with the unknown. When we stand on the precipice of great change, we are always faced with the void of the unknown. That’s what real change is: breaking with the patterns, stories, and behaviors of the past and moving into unknown territory.
When we start to rub up against the boundaries of our comfort zone, it always creates resistance. Our discomfort is how we know we are growing beyond our previous limitations. If you’ve never lifted 50 pounds before, it’s gonna be a bit uncomfortable the first time that you do.
The desire to control is often rooted in a lack of trust. Lack of trust in the world, in those around us, in the universe. But really, these are just a mirror of the lack of trust in ourselves.
The need to control always points us to our trust issues.
Lacking trust is no reason for judgement or shame. It is simply an opportunity to connect more deeply to our inner well of strength.
When we stand rooted in our truth, and we trust ourselves to honor it, the unknown becomes a bit less scary.
When we proceed firm in our belief that no matter what, we are always capable of handling whatever is present right now, the unknown loses some of its teeth.
When we know that whatever experience we are having is always one of value, the unknown actually becomes a little bit exciting.
When we remember that extraordinary things never occur in the comfort zone, the unknown becomes a magical space where anything is possible.
So when the unknown shows up, invite it in. Become curious about it and be willing to explore it. Sit with it and let it show you what else is possible.
Let your inner control freak unclench and take a breath.
Let the unknown become the soothing balm of comfort for a frazzled, exhausted, self that is trying like hell to maintain the illusion that anything is under control.