My Flower Teachers
Two months ago, I completed a six week course around small scale, high intensity, flower farming.
To say that this has changed my life is an understatement.
My days now look and feel miles away from what they did even at the start of the year.
Yet, even as I write about it, it doesn’t feel entirely true.
I don’t mean to paint a picture that implies one minute I was just sitting around and then “BAM!” some flowers came into my life and it all changed in a single moment.
That wouldn’t be a 100% accurate description of my life over the past few months, it wouldn’t be a total lie either.
My life has changed dramatically.
The things that inspire and spark curiosity in my life have shifted. The things I place my attention upon and where I focus my intention are different too.
I can’t honestly say that these current areas of focus are new to me. I’ve always felt the pull of Nature and her kingdoms. My connection to the beings and lifeforms on this planet is indelible
I don’t have a formula for how these changes manifested. It’s been a process of discovery.
More than anything, it’s been a matter of allowing the truth that has always been there to emerge.
Rather than trying to produce, edit, and curate a version of life that I think I should want, I’ve stopped fighting what wants to express itself through me.
Being the hollow vessel so All That I AM can move through me is a lot less struggle than I thought it would be. I often smile at my stubbornness and wonder why I fought mySelf for so long.
The ego is just so full of shit it never ceases to amaze me. It’s a snake oil salesman of the HIGHEST order. Don’t get me wrong, I love the little dude; I just don’t believe a lick of what he says.
The Flowers however are beings of an impeccable nature. They are Master Teachers standing shoulder to shoulder with even the greatest avatars of Mastery.
Their integrity is unmatched.
The Flowers have taught me a lot over the past couple of months. The simplicity of what they have shown me is so pure and magical.
This month, I am sharing a bit of what they have taught me.
Grow where you are
A seed isn’t going to waste precious time wondering if it’s time to grow. It’s not going to stop and worry if it’s ready to grow.
When the seed encounters the requirements it needs for soil, sunlight, and water, it grows as it can.
It gives 100% of what it has available to letting itself crack open and root. The seed doesn’t hold back. It doesn’t half step. It knows that it only gets one shot to grow. There is no try. There is no failure. There is only the intention to germinate and root.
The rest of it is out of its control and it fully surrenders to that.
Be 100% what you are
A flower is never going to be a frog. It’s not even going to try.
A flower’s soul is so fully invested in being the best version of what it has chosen to be, that it wouldn’t dare stop to question it.
It’s not going to waste its precious time (some of them only live for a handful of weeks!) trying to be something, anything, else.
It doesn’t question if its too short, too bright, too frilly, too bent, too wiggly, too big, too much, too fragrant!
It is going to grow as it is, unapologetically, for the entirety of its life.
No ifs, ands or buts about it.
A flower never resists what it is.
That level of confidence and self-assuredness is something I aspire to.
Who cares what the person next to you is doing? The flower doesn’t.
Have you ever known a Dahlia to complain that it’s not as pretty as the Dahlia growing across the row? Me either.
I guarantee you a flower is not going to stop and worry about what the market is doing, or what consumers are buying.
It’s not going to try to be more of a Rose than all the other Roses.
It doesn’t have to try and entice you with a huge discount or hastily thrown together PDF masquerading as a “free gift”.
It shows up, struts its stuff for as long as it can, and then bows out.
It never gives you less than all it has, whether that’s for a few glorious weeks, or decades of blooms.
The Flower has so much faith and trust in Spirit and Self that it unequivocally and unquestionably says “YES!” to the life before it.
Even though there might be a million other flowers growing in the field around it, the flower knows that it is the ONLY flower of its kind and no other living being in all of Creation can match its unique beauty and flair.
Don’t worry about small beginnings
Have you ever looked at a Poppy seed while looking at a full grown Poppy plant?
Or a Sunflower seed while looking at a fully grown, 10 foot tall Sunflower?
Do that, and then try to tell me that size matters.
There are no small beginnings. Only small ideas about what potential those beginnings hold.
If a seed less than an inch long can produce a flower stalk over 10 feet tall, then nobody on any planet anywhere can convince me that you don’t have everything you need to start growing right here right now.
If a being such as a seed has everything it needs within when it comes into this life, then how on Earth can you say that you don’t?
Be specific about what you need
Did you get what you needed?
Did you ask for what you needed?
Did you know what you needed, but refused to ask for it and then wondered why you were disappointed and frustrated?
Did you begrudgingly say yes to far less than you required? Were you surprised when you ended up feeling unsupported and unsuccessful?
Did you continue on, barely having what you needed in the first place, biting your tongue, telling yourself that it’s ok, you didn’t need it/deserve it/want it anyway?
Did you ever express that you needed something more, something different, something else?
Did you then find yourself, exhausted, depleted, and angry?
Were you surprised?
I have yet to find a flower that isn’t always telling me exactly what it requires in each and every moment.
I have yet to find a flower that will continue to try and flourish in an environment that isn’t giving it what it needs.
I have yet to find a sick or struggling flower that hasn’t been trying to tell me that it isn’t getting what it needs for sometime.
If a flower I have grown isn’t thriving, then it’s up to me to figure out why.
The flower is just doing what it is here to do regardless. It’s not the flower’s fault I haven’t been paying attention or doing my research.
There’s no room for fear in flowers
I remember the day I went downstairs to start sowing seeds. I had invested a lot of time, money, and energy into getting all the supplies I needed to have a kick-ass seed starting set-up. I was a bit nervous because I had so many expectations and so little experience.
As I began putting my newly acquired knowledge into practice, I could feel the anxiety rising.
What if I failed?
What if I killed them all?
What if I didn’t know what to do once they germinated?
What would I do if I ran out of money when it came time to plant them outside?
What would I do without the proper equipment?
What if they got some weird disease that I couldn’t heal?
What if they outgrew their seed trays before it was time to plant them outside?
What if there was a freak snow storm with powerful winds that knocked them flat?
What if they all died?
What if they all LIVED?!
In the beginning, all of these fears (and others) were on a loop in my head. As usual, it was the lived experience that showed me what I was capable of. As usual exactly NONE of the fears I had came true. If they did, they never happened in the way I thought they would. They also never came at a moment where I was unequipped to handle the situation.
Of course when you’re standing at Point A, Point D seems like it’s an impossible journey. However, as life always shows me, my fears were, as usual, nothing more than snake oil.
In all of my overwhelm, I forgot about one of the simplest Universal Laws. That we are never given anything we aren’t ready for, aren’t prepared for, and [on some level] that we didn’t choose.
As my experience with flowers grew, so did my capacity to deal with the unforeseen – just like everything else in life.
I learned that flowers don’t care if I am afraid. They don’t care if I think I am going to fail or whether or not I think I am ready. They just want to be planted.
They only ask that I give them a shot to grow and do my best to nurture them.
The rest is out of my hands.
You can’t grow flowers in your head
An idea, no matter how wonderful, is only an idea until you implement it.
Just like a packet of seeds sitting on the shelf.
The promise of the magnificent flowers you imagine they will be is lovely. Until those seeds are actually in the ground though, it’s nothing but a nice idea.
Just because one plants a seed, doesn’t mean that it’s going to flourish.
Maybe I didn’t fully think the idea through. Maybe I rushed ahead, ignoring those taps on the shoulder to pay more attention or to examine things more closely.
Maybe the seed wasn’t viable to begin with.
Maybe it had some anomaly that I had no way of knowing about before hand.
Maybe it’s just not the right time for the idea to flourish.
Regardless though, I am never going to know any of the above until I actually get the seed in the ground. Until then, those flowers are just a nice idea sitting on a shelf.
Not every idea I have is amazing. Some things look, sound, and feel like gold in the abstract but don’t quite cut it in reality.
Just like some seeds are going to germinate perfectly, but later down the line show me signs of illness, imbalance, or disease.
As the one who planted the seed and now finds himself responsible for the being he helped bring to life, it’s up to me to ensure that sprout has everything it needs to become the best plant it can be.
It’s also up to me to make the tough calls when it is clear that a seedling isn’t going to make it. I have to be willing to acknowledge that what I had hoped for may not be in the cards and pluck that seedling from the ground and throw it in the trash.
The alternate choice is to double down on my denial and grow a plant that is bound for disease, suffering, and a life of misery.
I am not going to make the plant accountable for my inability to be responsible for what I have created and allowed to flourish.
The seed never sees the flower
I have known since the beginning of the year that I very well might not be here to harvest everything I have planted. A move to a new location feels imminent, and most likely will see me departing mid Summer.
It is entirely possible that I will not see the majority of these plants come to their glorious peak of life.
Does that mean I shouldn’t plant them?
What about the bees, birds, insects, and other creatures that will benefit from them?
What about the neighbors who will get to see a yard full of spectacular flowers?
What about my sister and brother in law who will get to enjoy these flowers for the season and some of the perennial varieties for years to come?
What about the experience I am gaining?
What about the seeds who have a very short shelf life and may never get a chance to grow beyond this year because they’ve expired?
The seed never sees the flower.
Do you think that the seed would ever refuse to grow because of this?
At the end of its life the flower pours all of its life force into creating new seeds that it will never see.
Do you think the flower resents this?
So what if the things you are planning may never come to fruition in the way that you hope?
So what if the things you are planning never come to fruition at all?
So what if you never know how things end up?
Does that mean you don’t try? Does that mean you don’t act? Does that mean you withhold the beauty and magic that wants to flow through YOU just because you think won’t get anything in return?
If that’s the case, don’t grow flowers. Don’t ever do anything. Just sit like a lump until you turn to dust.
The last lesson I have been reminded of is such a beautiful one
This one is a lesson I return to over and over.
Nature is very forgiving.
Intention is 90% of it. The other 10% is in the doing.
When one approaches any endeavor or experience with willingness, curiosity, and an open heart, Spirit responds with deep grace and compassion.
We’re never going to understand it all, and that’s ok.
We may never reach that place of pristine clarity, and that’s ok too.
What’s important to remember is that you were chosen.
You are necessary.
Just like the flowers that I carefully chose to grow this year, so too were we ALL chosen.
Without you, Universal Energy would be out of a job.
You are the only You in all of creation.
Even if you have an identical twin, you’re still the only You.
The flowers know this and they grow with all that they have.
They pour every iota of life force energy they have into what they are.
They don’t worry about right or wrong, good or bad, they just are.
They blossom and bloom and dance until the last petal drops.
I only hope that one day I can be as clear on who and what I am, and as unapologetic about it as my flower teachers are.
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